Ways To Deal With Anxiety
By Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT on Sunday, December 20th, 2015 in Anxiety Counseling. No Comments
Do you find yourself laying in bed worrying about a million different issues? Some of your worries are about small issues (did I pay the phone bill?) and other issues are outside your control (job, 401k, health insurance premiums, etc.). It seems you can’t seem to stop the thoughts and you feel tired but can’t seem to fall asleep. This may turn into clock watching…hour by hour, sleep time seems to slip away. The anxiety then becomes focused on your lack of sleep and how it will affect your day tomorrow. “I need to fall asleep right now!” you think to yourself but that doesn’t seem to work.
We have all had the above experience at one time or another but some people have this experience every night or anxiety affects them during the day. The good news is that you can begin to take steps to deal with anxiety. Here are some steps to cope with your anxiety:
- Many with anxiety are often compulsive with daily actions such as checking the weather, obsessing about the stock market, ruminating on what was said by your boss or your comment to a friend, etc. Anxiety derives from trying to control what you can’t control. When you find yourself obsessing on anxiety related issues, close your eyes and imagine yourself floating on the clouds. Your arms are extended and it feels like you are on the most comfortable bed. Let go and surrender.
- Make peace with your anxiety and give it permission to step aside. Tell your anxiety, “Thank you for coming to protect me but I can take it from here.” Anxiety can keep us sharp without keeping us frozen.
- Practice breathing the anxiety out and breathing in a feeling of calm and peace. Try to focus on controlling your breath and taking it deep into your body. As you exhale, imagine the stress and anxiety leaving your body.
- Stay in the present. Anxiety is often a focus on the future, which you cannot control or change. Try to get yourself to focus on the here and now and how you are okay. Say to yourself, “I am strong person and the future will workout.”
- Think it through. Journal the facts and compare to your obsessive fears. Are there any facts that backup what you fear? Re-write the fear into what you chose to believe and feel about it.
- Write down 10 things in your life that you have done very well and 10 things you are thankful for today. Do this daily. Fight the anxiety with positive beliefs and thoughts.
- Call someone that you trust and tell him/her about your fears. Let them know that you don’t need advice but rather someone to listen and understand your anxiety. Keeping it a secret and not sharing it will often make it worse. Getting it out by telling someone is helpful because it has less power.
- Identify whether your anxiety fits into a cognitive distortion. Here are a list of cognitive distorted thinking:
| All-or-nothing thinking – Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground. “If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.” |
| Overgeneralization – Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever. “I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.” |
| The mental filter – Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right. |
| Diminishing the positive – Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count. “I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.” |
| Jumping to conclusions – Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader, “I can tell she secretly hates me.” Or a fortune teller, “I just know something terrible is going to happen.” |
| Catastrophizing – Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. “The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!” |
| Emotional reasoning – Believing that the way you feel reflects reality. “I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.” |
| ‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’ – Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules |
| Labeling – Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings. “I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.” |
| Personalization – Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control. “It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”
If you’re a chronic worrier, relaxation techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing, and meditation can also help. Since it’s impossible to be anxious and relaxed at the same time, strengthening your body’s relaxation response is a powerful worry-busting tactic. At Front Range Counseling Center, we have several counselors that can help you work through excessive anxiety. Call today (303-933-5800) to setup an appointment to begin your journey of healing and getting healthy. |
Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT
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