Radical Acceptance
By Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT on Saturday, March 7th, 2015 in Anger Management. No Comments
Radical Acceptance is the ability to endure discomfort, suffering, and pain by changing one’s attitude toward that distress. Radical Acceptance is a whole new way of looking at life, especially at the part of life that brings pain and anger. The most common response to pain is to get angry, blame others for the source of the pain, or go into a helpless cycle of pity. This kind of attitude toward the pain won’t take it away but rather may even increase the pain and suffering. The anger over the situation keeps the person from properly understanding the reality of the pain.
Radical acceptance means a complete and in-depth acceptance from the depth of your soul. It is to acknowledge your present situation without judging or shaming yourself or blame others for your current condition. Radical acceptance is being okay with what you can’t change and focusing on what you can change. It doesn’t pardon or approve other’s dishonest behavior but rather it is to avoid manipulating or changing what is happening by getting angry or blaming. Radical acceptance is no longer fighting reality.
Radical acceptance is something within a person rather than what can be seen on the outside. For example, if a person gets laid off from a job, he or she doesn’t waste time blaming and shaming himself/herself or other people but rather refocuses upon what he or she can do today. Radical acceptance includes feelings of sadness, anger, and joy and doesn’t try to escape, numb, or medicate those painful feelings. It is accepting that life can be worth living even with painful events in it.
It is the essence of the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change (or control or manage) and courage to accept the things I can change (control or manage) and the wisdom to know the difference (because I often get very confused between the two). Thy Will, Not Mine Be Done.” Radical acceptance includes faith that God is in control of the things that I am not and that God will provide me with courage to face the things I do control.
Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT
Latest posts by Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT (see all)
- Relationship Panic & Attachment - September 18, 2018
- Anger Management Coping - January 22, 2017
- How Do People Behave In Anger - December 31, 2016
- Anger Management Distortions: Overgeneralization - December 3, 2016
- Two Basic Traits That Help Relationships Last - November 22, 2016