How Do People Behave In Anger
By Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT on Saturday, December 31st, 2016 in Anger Management. No Comments
Anger Isn’t Always Negative
How do people behave when they are angry?
Anger isn’t always negative. It can be a force for good. Moral outrage can drive people to campaign for change, right wrongs and enforce the rules that govern our society. Marriage counselors often see the damage caused by anger.
Anger & Aggression
People often think of anger and aggression as the same thing, but researchers estimate that people get aggressive just 10% of the times that they get angry.
Anger is an emotional state and aggression is just one of the ways that people behave when they are angry. Aggressive behavior can be physical or verbal and gives the signal that someone intends to cause harm. It can mean people become violent towards others or throw things. Aggression often takes over when people act on their instinct to protect themselves or others. Alcohol can make some people act more aggressively and drug use can similarly lower our inhibitions.
Verbal Anger
People often express their anger verbally. They may shout, threaten, use dramatic words, bombard someone with hostile questions or exaggerate the impact on them of someone else’s action.
Some people who are angry get their own back indirectly by acting the martyr. They get their own way by making other people feel guilty and playing on that guilt. Others develop a cynical attitude and constantly criticize everything, but never address problems constructively.
Some people internalize their anger. They may be seething inside and may physically shake, but they don’t show their anger in the way they behave when they are around other people.
People who internalize their anger may self-harm when they are angry because they find it hard to deal with their emotions. They deliberately harm themselves, usually in secret, as a way of coping with intense feelings they can’t express another way. Self-harm is most common among young people. They may feel it gives them a release from their anger, but any relief is only temporary and, like many more obvious ways of expressing anger, self-harming doesn’t solve problems long term.
What kind of problems can be linked to anger?
Anger in itself is neither good nor bad, but it becomes a problem when it harms us or other people. Anger is the emotion most likely to cause problems in relationships in the family, at work and with friends. People with a long term anger problem tend to be poor at making decisions, take more risks than other people and are more likely to have a substance misuse problem.
Long term and intense anger has been linked with mental health problems including depression, anxiety and self-harm. It is also linked to poorer overall physical health as well as particular conditions from high blood pressure, colds and fl u to coronary heart disease, stroke, cancer and gastro-intestinal problems.
Why do people tend to neglect anger problems?
Reports show that anger problems are as common as depression and anxiety, but people experiencing difficulties with anger often fail to identify their anger or see it as a problem. They rarely seek support and may be more likely to see other people as the problem.
If a member of their family or colleagues persuade them to seek help, they may be less willing to take on board any advice they are given than if they had asked for support themselves. Changing how you behave takes effort and can be made easier by the support of family and friends.
Excerpt from “Cool Down: Anger and how to deal with it”
Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT
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