Setting Boundaries for Sexual Addiction Recovery: #5 “Internet”

Twenty years ago, sex addicts had to get their sex “fix” from public places such as magazine racks, strip clubs, adult bookstores, or video stores.  The sex addict had the potential embarrassment of being seen and recognized.  He also was limited to the materials offered by the specific establishment.

With the age of the internet, the sex addict can obtain his drug of choice by anonymous means.  He can also find on the internet anything his addicted mind can imagine.  The internet has been described as the 21^st centuries’ crack cocaine.  Seventy-four percent of adult commercial sites display free teaser porn images on homepages that entice the sex addict to click on the link.  Once there, the sex addict takes his drink of lust and continues to go deeper into the world of porn.  The internet is by far the most dangerous threat to your sobriety and recovery.  During your first year of recovery, the internet should be avoided unless your job requires you to use it.

If you decide that giving up the internet is too high a price, then you will need to establish internet boundaries with your therapist, sponsor, group, and spouse.  We also encourage you to setup consequences for any slips or relapses.

Here are some ideas about establishing internet boundaries:

1.  Put a strong filter on your computer that blocks all potential triggering material.  See link: www. avg.com or www.netnanny.com.
2. Have your friend, accountability partner, or fellow group member put a password on your computer to keep you from accessing it.
3. Remove the modem in the computer.
4. Avoid using the internet for 90 days and then follow step 1 above.
5. Ask another recovering sex addict group member to be your accountability partner and sign him up for receiving weekly reports from the blocker software.

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Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT

Sexual Addiction Therapist at Front Range Counseling Center

Kevin Leapley specializes in both marriage counseling and sexual addiction therapy for men. Kevin has received specialized training by Dr. Patrick Carnes and obtained his CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist). Kevin has also received extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist .

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