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We can learn to self-sooth through the use of certain sounds.  Listen to beautiful or soothing music, or to CD of the ocean or other sounds of nature can be very relaxing.  For some people, having a baseball game on the radio while they work can be very self-soothing.  For others, sitting by a waterfall can provide a calm sense of peace.  Everyone has their preference and tastes for what will work best to reduce anxiety and to calm our nerves. Here are some ideas for using your sense of hearing to self-sooth:

  • The most obvious might be to listen to music.  The different kinds of music could include jazz, classical, celtic, gospel, oldies, opera or anything that works for the individual.  The music may or may not include singing.  I’d recommend trying out different types of genres to help determine what works best to help you relax.
  • Some people find talk shows to relax them as they drive.  I recommend staying away from the talk shows that focus upon conflict, argument or politics.
  • Listening to books on tape (or CDs) can be helpful to self-sooth.  Letting someone else do the work while you relax on the couch or sitting in a comfortable chair.
  • Watching television or listening to a show in the background can be soothing.  Stay away from political shows or news.  Both can be disturbing and have the negative affect of increasing your anxiety.
  • Go for a walk in an area that has nature.  A park with trees, a path in the mountains, or even walking along the beach with the sound of waves.
  • Listen to the sound of a waterfall or water fountain.
  • Listen to a recording of a relaxation exercise.  In our groups, we have started the group with a recording of a relaxing meditation that helps group members become more present and focused.
  • Using a white-noise machine can block out other distracting or distressing noises.  I have used white noise machines to help me sleep deeper without outside noise disrupting my sleep.
  • Hum a tune – the vibrations in your throat can provide a relaxing feeling to your body and mind.
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Kevin Leapley specializes in both marriage counseling and sexual addiction therapy for men. Kevin has received specialized training by Dr. Patrick Carnes and obtained his CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist). Kevin has also received extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist .

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