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There are two ways that people calm themselves down: positive coping and negative coping.  Both of these methods calm you down.  Make no mistake–you can get the stress out by using either positive or negative coping.  But there is a big difference between the two.

With negative coping, you succeed in calming yourself down but you make a bigger problem for yourself later.  It works short-term, but it does not work in the long-term.  With positive coping, you succeed in calming yourself down in the short term and in the long term.  As you might guess, positive coping is much harder to do.  But negative coping will make your problem much, much worse.  In some cases, negative coping may create an entirely new problem for you altogether.

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I am an anger management counselor at Front Range Counseling Center, an outpatient clinic in Denver that helps individuals and couples with anger problems. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Colorado. I provide counseling services for individuals, couples, and families who struggle with anger. I developed The ASCEND Method® for anger management, and have used this method with men and women, adults, teens, and children. I have also authored various workbooks, training manuals, and articles and has been published in The Washington Post.

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