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The 3rd core belief of a sex addict is “I can’t trust anyone to meet my needs but me.”  This belief originates in childhood when the sex addict may have learned to meet other family member’s needs but felt rejection, abandonment, or neglect when it came to his/her own needs being met.


Distorted Core Belief #2 “If you really knew me, you’d reject me” This second belief derives from the first belief of shame: I am a bad and unworthy person.  The sex addict fears above everything else in his life being rejected and therefore, alone.  The sex addict will keep secrets, lie, hide, create a false […]


Distorted Core Belief 1: Unworth Dr. Patrick Carnes identifies four core beliefs (distorted) beliefs of sex addicts.  Here is Core Belief #1: 1. I am a bad and unworthy person. This belief at its core is shame.  Often the sex addict will have thoughts of himself as “not good enough”, “less than others”, “stupid”, “unworthy […]


Taking Care Of Self in Recovery One way to take care of yourself is to take time to relax and rest the body, mind, and spirit.  Many people don’t take time to relax or rest because they feel like they’d be a disappointment to someone else (i.e., boss, spouse, family, or friends).  This probably comes […]


  After using your hearing to sooth yourself, I recommend adding your sense of smell to further self-sooth. The goal is to relax rather than actout with anger or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.  When we learn to relax, out minds and bodies feel better.  Our hearts beat slower and our blood pressure is lowered.  Using […]


Self-Soothing Recovery Tool Sounds have a way of soothing us.  This can include for example listening to calming music such as classic or faith-based music.  Everyone will have his or her own favorites for relaxing.  Other examples can be listening to a inspirational speaker on Ted Talks or a pastor that you enjoy hearing. Some […]


Sexual Addiction Victory Victory over sexual addictive behaviors must derive from a change in attitude of one’s mind and heart.  This changed attitude only comes from an unconditional surrender to God.  It is a decision to stop turning to the sexual act and rely upon the provisions of a Power Greater than self.  The new […]


Radical Acceptance is the ability to endure discomfort, suffering, and pain by changing one’s attitude toward that distress.  


Divide the notebook into these five sections: Childhood Experiences (birth to age twelve), Adolescent Experiences (age thirteen to seventeen), Current Life (from the start of your journal and going forward), Recovery Exercises, and Future Plans. In the Childhood section, record your memories and feelings about your psychotraumatic experiences.  Record your positive memories and experiences here […]


  Sex Addicts Daily Renewal Exercise Recovering from sexual addiction requires a daily commitment to working on staying sober and being accountable to another recovering member. Here are some questions that the recovering sex addict can answer daily to another program member: Are you willing to admit you are powerless over your addiction and that you cannot […]


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