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Sexual Addiction Triggers When working with men that struggle with sexual addiction, I often will discuss their triggers that precede the last acting out behaviors.  The triggers usually fall into the acronym B-L-A-S-T-E-D. The more the sex addict can understand his real need rather than the need for sex, the more he can replace unhealthy […]


Love Addiction consists of three components: Romance, Relationship and Sexual Addiction. Signs and Characteristics of Love Addiction: Lack of nurturing and attention when young Feeling isolated, detached from parents and family Compartmentalization of relationships from other areas of life Outer facade of “having it all together” to hide internal disintegration Mistake intensity for intimacy (drama […]


We have recently added a sexual addiction questionnaire to our website to assist visitors in their assessment of whether they may have sexual addiction.  This screening measure is not designed to make a diagnosis of a sexual addiction or take the place of a professional diagnosis or consultation.  We have gathered 25 different questions that […]


Anger Management Cues When we are starting to get angry, our body sends us physical cues to tell us that there is a problem. These are instant, physiological sensations that we have no control over. Different people experience anger differently in their body, but we all receive cues of some sort when we are getting […]


Core Belief #4: Sex Is My Greatest Need The 4th and final core belief  of a sex addict is “Sex is one of my greatest needs.  I’ll do anything to get it.”  Most men that I work with in my sex addiction counseling practice will often deny that this is true in their thinking until […]


The 3rd core belief of a sex addict is “I can’t trust anyone to meet my needs but me.”  This belief originates in childhood when the sex addict may have learned to meet other family member’s needs but felt rejection, abandonment, or neglect when it came to his/her own needs being met.


Distorted Core Belief #2 “If you really knew me, you’d reject me” This second belief derives from the first belief of shame: I am a bad and unworthy person.  The sex addict fears above everything else in his life being rejected and therefore, alone.  The sex addict will keep secrets, lie, hide, create a false […]


Distorted Core Belief 1: Unworth Dr. Patrick Carnes identifies four core beliefs (distorted) beliefs of sex addicts.  Here is Core Belief #1: 1. I am a bad and unworthy person. This belief at its core is shame.  Often the sex addict will have thoughts of himself as “not good enough”, “less than others”, “stupid”, “unworthy […]


Taking Care Of Self in Recovery One way to take care of yourself is to take time to relax and rest the body, mind, and spirit.  Many people don’t take time to relax or rest because they feel like they’d be a disappointment to someone else (i.e., boss, spouse, family, or friends).  This probably comes […]


  After using your hearing to sooth yourself, I recommend adding your sense of smell to further self-sooth. The goal is to relax rather than actout with anger or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.  When we learn to relax, out minds and bodies feel better.  Our hearts beat slower and our blood pressure is lowered.  Using […]


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