Phone: 303-933-5800

What is the Problem with Lust? So, what is lust?  That is a huge question.   Lust is the opposite of love.  Lust tries to take the place of love.  Lust takes the place of God.  Lust is about taking, while love is about giving.  Lust is never satisfied and it always wants more and more. […]



Take care of yourself emotionally.  If you are in a good emotional state you will be less likely to get angry.  If you are emotionally bankrupt, just about anything will set your anger off. Some ways to improve your emotional health: Cultivate emotional supports Spend time serving others Rest Laugh Create healthy personal boundaries for […]



Often in relationships where addiction is present, the couple will play a rotating roles of “Persecutor/Perpetrator”, “Victim”, and “Rescuer”.  This is is called a “Drama Triangle.”  These are roles that both the partners learned in childhood as normal and each don’t recognize the drama that occurs and the cycle of dysfunction that never seems to […]



Do you find yourself laying in bed worrying about a million different issues?  Some of your worries are about small issues (did I pay the phone bill?) and other issues are outside your control (job, 401k, health insurance premiums, etc.).  It seems you can’t seem to stop the thoughts and you feel tired but can’t […]



To calm yourself down, you will need to learn some positive ways to teach your body to calm down when you are upset.  The first rule of positive coping is: don’t hold it in.  Avoidance is a negative coping strategy, and so dealing with your anger is important.  It’s normal to fee sadness, anxiety, anger […]



Sexual Addiction Recovery Support System Every person that struggles with sexual addiction and desires recovery will need to have a support community of other recovering sex addicts. Initially, my clients will often be resistant to joining either a counseling group or 12-step sex addiction recovery group.  My response is “If you are truly sick and […]



“The pursuit of purity is not about the suppression of lust, but about the reorientation of one’s life to a larger goal.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer Often in recovery from sexual addiction, the goal is to stop the out of control sexual behaviors and to maintain sexual sobriety.  I believe this is a healthy and good goal […]



Partners Non-Negotiable Boundaries The partner of sex addicts are in a difficult situation of not wanting to control the sex addict’s recovery or behaviors but wanting to feel safe in the relationship.  The betrayal by the sex addict has essentially destroyed any trust or foundation of security in the relationship.  



There are three main categories of negative coping. Drugs and Alcohol Venting Avoidance If you are using these methods to calm yourself, you may be succeeding in the short therm, but you are hurting yourself in the long run. Drugs and Alcohol Many, many people use drugs and alcohol for negative coping.  If you are […]



There are two ways that people calm themselves down: positive coping and negative coping.  Both of these methods calm you down.  Make no mistake–you can get the stress out by using either positive or negative coping.  But there is a big difference between the two. With negative coping, you succeed in calming yourself down but […]



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