Assessing The Costs of Anger

In order to be motivated to work an anger management program, we believe it is important to take inventory of the damage and wreckage of one’s past that was caused by his or her anger.  Often those struggling with anger will be in denial of how bad his or her anger has become.  There will be minimizing, rationalizing, and justifying the anger similar to how an alcoholic will do with the drinking.  In one study performed by Hazaleus and Deffenbacher (1986), it was found that 45% of males that suffered from anger issues had suffered a loss of relationship or damaged relationship n the prior year.  It also found that work and education performance suffered a significant disruption.  Men that struggled with anger also drank more alcohol and were more likely to get drunk.  Breaking denial can begin by writing out and sharing with another the personal cost of one’s anger.

Here are just some questions that we found to be helpful in getting honest and accepting that a problem exists:

1. How has anger negatively affected your relationship with your spouse or partner?

2. How has anger negatively affected your children?

3. How has anger negatively affected your family-of-origin (i.e. parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.)?

4. How has anger negatively affected your friendships (with special focus on strained or lost friendships)?

5. How has anger harmed those that were not family or friends (coworkers, neighbors, strangers you had conflict, etc.)?

6. How has your anger negatively affected your physical and mental health (including illness related to stress, physical pain or discomfort, etc.)?

7. How has your anger negatively affected your spiritual life (i.e., feeling distant from Higher Power, feeling unmotivated to be spiritual, blaming Higher Power for not fixing you, stopped attending spiritual community, etc.)?

8. How has your anger negatively affect your occupation or relationships at work (i.e., fired, suspensions, warnings, career changes, loss of reputation in your job performance, advancements, loss of coworker’s respect, customers, etc.)?

9. List the financial costs that have come from your anger (include legal costs, fines, jobs, divorce, separation, replacement of goods, fixing walls, etc.)

10. How has your anger created dangerous situations for you (i.e., road rage, physical fights, problems with the law, holes in the wall, dangerous driving, etc.)?

If you identify with the questions above and you are ready to start a program of healing from your out of control anger.  Call us today at 303-933-5800 and an anger management specialized counselor will call you back within 24-hours.

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Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT

Sexual Addiction Therapist at Front Range Counseling Center

Kevin Leapley specializes in both marriage counseling and sexual addiction therapy for men. Kevin has received specialized training by Dr. Patrick Carnes and obtained his CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist). Kevin has also received extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist .

Latest posts by Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT (see all)

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