Step 2 – “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

In Step One, sexual addiction therapists encourage clients to first admitted that we were, we are now, and we will remain powerless over lust and that our lives have become completely unmanageable because of it.  We cannot stop on our own, that stopping is not our problem (we’ve stop thousands of times) but rather our problem is the inability to stay stopped.  Secondly, we finally admitted to ourselves, another person, and to God that our lives are unmanageable by us alone.  This conviction that we are sex addicts and that our lives are unmanageable by us alone leads us naturally into Step Two.

Admit We Need Higher Power

Since we recognized that our lives have been, are now, and will remain unmanageable by us alone (having completed a thorough Step One), we must now admit the fact that we need a new Source to control our lives because the old source (the thinking mind with its acquired character defects) led us into the depths of deep despair, self-centeredness, loneliness, and insanity.  We found that our best thinking could not solve our problems.  Thus, the conclusion that we must start to find a new Power of our life (a Power greater than ourselves) is the key to become happy, joyous, and free.

To start, we will need to believe — that a Power exists which is greater than ourselves — and this belief is absolutely necessary if we are honestly to complete the remaining ten Steps of the twelve step recovery program.

Therefore, Step Two can be the starting point on which we can begin the journey toward spiritual awakening.  All that is needed is willingness, open-mindedness and rigorous honesty.

Step Two, properly worked and lived, will start the beginning of the end of our old life, and the beginning of our emergence into a new life (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions)

The purpose of writing this second step is to help you become aware of the acquired, destructive thinking that has wrecked your lives.  Go through the following examples and be as honest and specific as you are able at this time.  Give specific examples and situations from your own life.  You are after the destructive, acquired character defects.

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QUESTIONS FOR WRITING

SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY

1. Describe your understanding of your Higher Power.

2. Describe your earliest spiritual experience. What was it like?

3. Who in your early life reminds you of your Higher Power?

4. If you were God, how would you change your world and what would you do with a person such as yourself?

5. What requisite qualities do you think an adequate Higher Power should have? How is that different from what qualities you think your Higher Power does have?

6. Where did you get your notions, beliefs, and concepts about God? Who or what taught you about God in the first place?

7. What does sanity mean to you? How would you like to be different?

8. List any angers and resentments you have against God.

9. If you had an audience with God, what would you ask God?

RESTORATION TOWARD SANITY

Answer the questions below honestly and with a truly open mind.  Remember, insanity is not a part of your True Self.  Insanity exists in the acquired false self, which is not a part of the real you, so dig deep!

1. Do you have any fears in your life today? (fear of people, emotional insecurity, sexual insecurity, financial insecurity) List these fears.
2. Can you recognize self-centeredness in your life? If so, give examples.
3. Do you believe “The main problem of the alcoholic [sexaholic] centers in his mind, rather than his body? (AA Big Book, p. 23) Why or why not?
4. What areas of your life do you feel that you have little or no control over? (family, job, SA, spiritual or emotional) Why do you feel you have little or no control over these areas?

This material was adapted from San Diego SA’s use of the study guides from the Top of the Hill Group, an AA group.  

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Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT

Sexual Addiction Therapist at Front Range Counseling Center

Kevin Leapley specializes in both marriage counseling and sexual addiction therapy for men. Kevin has received specialized training by Dr. Patrick Carnes and obtained his CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist). Kevin has also received extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist .

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