Sex Addiction Boundary: Media

Our cultural environment values sexual expression and takes great liberty in expressing those values in television, movies, and internet videos.  For the sex addict, this is another area to establish strong boundaries to avoid being triggered into fantasies and acting out. 

Media Boundaries

Movies, television, and other forms of entertainment sexually objectify women and eroticize relationships.  It glorifies your past life of sexually acting out and further strengthens the lies of the addiction.  These lies include: “I have a right to have sex anytime I want and with anyone I want.”  “No one will get hurt if I keep it a secret.”  “Women are sex objects and are not human.”  “I can control and enjoy sex”.

Today’s media downplays the destruction of infidelity, one night sexual encounters, pornography, divorce, sexual jokes, and sexual abuse.  Media can negatively affect your thinking about what is healthy and what is unhealthy.  Viewing certain television shows, movies, or other media is similar to a recovering alcoholic hanging out with friends at a bar.  Recovery may require you to live without certain media shows.

First Year Boundary

During the first year of sex addiction recovery, we recommend placing limits on the amount and type of media entertainment that you watch.  The sex addict must setup boundaries that are more extreme or limiting in the beginning and later can discuss lifting some of the established boundaries.  Examples to help you to identify your own media boundary:

During the first year of recovery, my restrictions around movies and television are:

• Only watch shows that I don’t have to hide from my partner or family.
• Give up TV for a period of time.
• Only watch shows that have zero chance for sexual triggers (i.e., no cable or pay-per-view shows)
• No channel surfing
• Put block on cable channels that show sexual media.

On a sheet of paper, list the boundaries that you will setup to keep television, movies, and other potential media triggers from leading you down the path of relapse.   Share these with a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, sponsor, and/or group of recovering SA addicts.

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Kevin Leapley, MA, LPC, CSAT

Sexual Addiction Therapist at Front Range Counseling Center

Kevin Leapley specializes in both marriage counseling and sexual addiction therapy for men. Kevin has received specialized training by Dr. Patrick Carnes and obtained his CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist). Kevin has also received extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist .

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